There have been a plethora (yeah, plethora… did you like that?) of posts on other blogs and such mentioning how to blog properly. How to make sure that your blog is read by millions of people, and how to make sure that you keep them coming back.

I read these posts with interest.

Okay, fine.

Mostly, I read them with scorn, but hey, I read them.
Okay, fine. I briefly glanced at them.
But that should count for something, right?

I’ve kept a blog online for going on twelve years now. I know, right? I must be good at it by now. But apparently, I’m not. I have so much to learn from people who blog better than I do. The thing is? I really suck at taking advice. I guess that’s why I’m still blogging wrong.

So, in an attempt to fit in, I’m going to do what a lot of other bloggers do. I’m going to give you my advice on how to blog effectively. Hey, never let it be said that I can’t jump on a bandwagon, okay?

Loripop’s Three Rules to a Better Blog

Find Your Niche and NEVER, EVER Stray From It

Seriously.  I can’t stress this enough.  You don’t want to go and do something stupid like grow as a writer.  And writing outside of your comfort level will only serve to confuse your readers.  All three of them.  The ideal blog post is a regurgitation of a previous blog post.  In fact, it’s probably best if you just edit a previous blog post.  Or better yet, just edit someone else’s so that it looks just different enough to take credit for it.  Add big words – like plethora – and change the order of a few paragraphs.  But that’s it.  Don’t go writing anything new and exciting.  It will merely force your readers to actually read what you have to say.  And they don’t want that any more than you do.

Don’t Get PERSONAL

Your blog is not about you.  It’s about your readers.  Who cares what you want to write about.  What… you think you blog because people are interested in anything personal about you?  No.  Blog readers just want to read about things like blogging.  And microblogging.  They don’t want to know your thoughts on anything.  You don’t blog because you want to write for you.  You blog because you want to gain a million subscribers, right?  If you’re writing a blog just because you want to write, then you’re in the wrong place.  If you blog solely because you want to express yourself and have a place of your own to call home on the web, you’re doin’ it wrong.  Get off the internet, you.  You have no place here.

Remember, Blogging is a JOB

You aren’t going around thinking that blogging is supposed to be something you enjoy, are you?  Oh hellll, no.  No, no, no.  Blogging is a job.  And like all jobs, if you hate it, you’re probably doing something right.  If you wake up in the morning and you don’t want to blog, you’re on your way to success as a blogger.  This is really tied into the first two points.  If you’re writing for other people – not yourself – and if you never actually say what you want to, well it won’t be long before the readers come pouring in.  You’ll hate what you’re writing, sure.  You’ll feel completely disconnected from your writing.  But isn’t it worth it to know that you’re following the rules of blogging?  It doesn’t matter if you no longer take pleasure in blogging.

As long as you’re following the rules as set out by bloggers like me, you’re all set.

Go forth and blog.

Just remember…

If you’re enjoying it, you’re probably doing it wrong.

Image Source:  @gapingvoid