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So, yeah.

Not the best little blogger, am I.
And apparently, the time away from blogging (read: ranting) has made me start talking like Yoda.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

There. Random Star Wars reference is out of the way.
Combined with a random Seinfeld reference.
I still got it.

I haven’t blogged with any regularity for a while. I make no apologies, because it’s my blog. And because life was happening all around me, and I was taking part in it, and next thing you know, I’m titling a blog post, “Like, OMG! I have a BLOG!”

It’s like when you go grocery shopping and you bring home a whole bunch of lovely fresh veggies to make a stir fry with and then that night you’re too tired from grocery shopping to cook so you order a pizza, and then the next night there’s still pizza, so you have that as leftovers and then finally on the third night you think, shit I’m gonna have me some stir-fry and you go to the fridge and the veggies that looked so lovely are now looking like the dog’s breakfast and then you just stand there and look at the fridge as if it’s going to puke out some awesome ready made meal like the replicators do on Star Trek, which of course never fucking happens, and you kick yourself realizing that you didn’t cook the veggies, but since the pizza totally rocked, it’s all good in the hood.

It’s totally like that.
Except with fewer run-on sentences.

So anyhow, I’m blogging.

And I also accepted a challenge from the lovely and talented (she is) Chrissa over yonder at A Little Wicked (she is). As both of us need to get back into our blog-girl panties, we found a list of bloggable questions that we’re going to use as fodder for our brains and fingers.

There was only one problem.
The list was fifty questions long.
Yeah, no.

So, we decided to split the list up, one of us taking on the odd numbers, the other of us taking on evens.

All that was left was figuring out who took which.
And in true ‘we don’t want to pick’ fashion, we conjured a way for us not to have to decide.

We posted on Twitter and Facebook.
“Odds or Evens”
The number of answers each of us got decided.

(Insert thanking of friends and twitterers for unknowingly taking part in top-secret project, code-named “virtual coin flip”.)

To no one’s surprise whatsoever, the overwhelming majority of MY responses were “Odd”.
Fuckyouverymuch, friends and twitterers.

50 questions.
25 posts each.
2 posts per week.
2 friends pulling up their…

Blog-Girl Panties.

Many thanks to Tom Slatin and his wonderful blog for the inspiration for this challenge.

I don’t often get the opportunity to write during the day anymore. Unfortunately, having a job where the bosses are (almost) literally sitting in your lap all day long kinda makes that next to impossible. Perhaps if they didn’t do that all day, every day, they would have staff that didn’t basically do as little as possible when we don’t have any babysitters.

But I digress.
Or maybe I don’t.

This morning, I woke up in a rather sappy and girlie and ever-so-slightly loveycuddly mood. By slightly, I mean that if I could have, I would have cuddled in bed all day long. And, as if I need to say it, loveycuddly IS a word, no matter what spell-check has to say on the matter.

After waking up in such a mindset, I came to work and found out that all boss-type activity would be happening far, far away. That suited me just fine, as my body was at the office, but my mind was still tucked warmly and snuggled in bed.

As if that weren’t enough to make a good day better, a short while after arriving at the office, I was handed a picture that seemed to sum up the exact mood that I am in today.

The picture was handed to me by a friend. A kindred spirit who happened into my life the way most kindred spirits do; by chance. The photo she handed me was of a woman that I had met just as serendipitously.

One day, finding myself without lunch because I had forgotten it at home, I ventured out into ‘town’ to forage for food. I popped into the deli/diner to order something, turned around and saw my friend seated in the diner. She beckoned me over and introduced me to the remarkable lady that she was dining with.

I spent only fifteen or so minutes there while I waited on my order. But in those minutes, this woman made me feel like I was not only welcome, but that I had known her for years. What an incredible spark. Sense of humour, sharpness of mind and spirit. Something in her demeanor captured me and held me in rapt attention as she spoke.

There was nothing about this woman that didn’t whispershout happiness and love.

As I looked at her picture this morning, I realized why.

She has lived in love and with love for so long, that she has become love.

The photo of her and her husband took my breath away. I looked at it for a long time. I looked at his smile, and the way his arm wrapped comfortably around her shoulder as if it had always had a place there. I looked at her smile, at her hand wrapped around his as if it had always belonged there.

I looked into their eyes and mine teared up because this…
THIS is life.
This is joy.

This is, simply and unconditionally and purely, love.

As I write this, he is no longer beside her.
My heart breaks a little because of that.

But here’s the thing… I met her after he had already passed on. Before I even knew that he had gone. And I felt that remarkable love pouring out of her. In every breath, in every movement, every smile; from her core.

Love lives on.

And on, and on…

Thank you H & L, for loving each other.

I can’t wait to have my picture taken in fifty years and have a smile like yours.

Two years ago and a bit, I read a blog post by my dear friend Khayyam.  It touched me, very deeply.  It spoke about being grateful for the losses and the death in your life.  About how experiencing those things can help you in appreciating the joys that you have been blessed with.  Two years ago, I needed to read that.

This evening, I re-read the post.

I was reading the comments and had forgotten that I had commented on it.  I re-read my own comment and smiled, because I felt exactly the same way about it now that I did then.  It was – and is – an awesome post.

You should really go and read it.

I also re-read Khayyam’s reply to my comment.
And took a very deep breath.
And felt tears come to my eyes.

He said something to me that he has said in the past, that I understood, but that I don’t think I ever felt in the way that it should have been felt before tonight…

…you’ve been the most wonderful reflection to view myself through…

My mind had always understood what Khayyam meant by that, but my heart finally also understood it tonight.

I don’t think that I could have truly understood what a compliment that was until I had someone in my life who is the most wonderful reflection to view myself through.  Someone who has shown me what he sees in me, and has me looking into the same reflection of me that he sees.

I am grateful.

I am so grateful to Khayyam for sharing his blog with the world.

I am and always will be so deeply and fiercely grateful to Dean for being the reflection through which I see myself now.

What a smile that reflection shows me.

Thank you.

Today and every day forever and always.

GPSM