Posts Tagged ‘twitter’

I’ve had some good ideas in the past.
I guess.

Some ideas I have – like going on tour with Bon Jovi – never quite came to fruition. Well, at least not yet. I’m still working on that one. They need me. They just don’t know it yet. But they will… Someday…

Anyhow.

I learned to cook. And I don’t just mean that I learned to follow a recipe. Anyone can follow a recipe. I mean that I learned not to be afraid of cooking outside the lines. I play with recipes. I play with flavours. I add and delete ingredients at will, and adjust cooking methods. I have even made up my own recipes from vague ideas that have been suggested to me. And I’ll be damned if they didn’t turn out really good. Just ask Chrissa! I’m quite happy with my skills in the kitchen. Realizing that the worst that could happen was having to order a pizza was a very good idea.

Learning to play the guitar. Okay, this wasn’t so much my idea as it was my brother’s idea. But I went along with it, so I’m totally counting it. Learning to play the guitar has given me not only a greater appreciation for music on the whole, but has also given me another way to relieve stress. The only downside of this is that it causes me some pain. I don’t practice as much as I should, so I never really build up a nice set of calluses. Which means that when I play, my fingers get really sore. And sometimes they get little owie blisters on them. Did I mention the owie? Kiss them better please.

Starting a damn twitter account. I know. But honestly, that’s allowed me to meet some very, very interesting people. People that have come to mean a lot to me. People that I share my daily life with, and will continue to share my life with. People that I can’t wait to meet in person. Also, it’s been fun seeing all the fuckbuckets fuck their buckets. Nothing is quite as entertaining as watching people wallow in their own sewage. As long as I’m far enough away I can’t smell it.

Deciding I no longer give a shit what other people think of me. I don’t mean that I don’t care what the people I love think. I will always care about what they think. I mean that I no longer give a flying fuck what other people think of me. I just flat out refuse to measure my own value based on what other people say. The people that love me already think I’m valuable, and they make me feel that way. Everyone else? They can hate on me all they like. As long as they keep it to themselves. You want to start bashing me in public? Be forewarned. I might bash back. And even if I don’t, I won’t forget it.

Yes, I have had very good ideas in the workplace. But those ideas are boring. No one wants to know about those. Even I don’t want to know about most of those anymore. Y’know, until someone asks me that stupid question in a job interview. Cuz I’m pretty sure those people aren’t going to care about my twitter account.

Asshats.

The 50-50 Challenge is an idea that Chrissa from A Little Wicked and I came up with. It is based on a list of 50 Lists to Write to Lift Your Spirits, which can be found at Demanding Joy. We were inspired to make it a blog challenge. If you’d like to participate, please do. Be as inspired as we were.

Since it seems that anyone can do it, I believe that I shall declare myself to be a Social Media ROCK STAR! Yes, the words ‘rock star’ need to be capitalized if I’m planning on becoming a Social Media ROCK STAR! And no, you may not leave off the exclamation point at the end. The exclamation point is what makes it true. And important. Sheesh, don’t you know anything?

From what I can tell, there are really only two qualifications to become a Social Media ROCK STAR!

One, you must declare yourself to be a Social Media ROCK STAR! Well, that’s easy enough. I’m pretty sure I just did that. Or weren’t you paying fucking attention? Just for you, I’ll do it again… I. Am. A. Social. Media. ROCK STAR! Got that?

Two, you must be a complete douchebag. I might not have a lot of douchebag experience, but I learn quickly. I’m sure I can figure it out.

In order to facilitate my whole move to the state of douchbaggery, I shall do the following things:

As of this moment, every single person that follows me shall get an auto-dm explaining to them that I am, in fact, a Social Media ROCK STAR! and that I will help them reach new heights of awesome simply by doing nothing but using my auto-dm powers. I will also send this auto-dm to all my current followers. Just to reinforce my douche-factor.

Secondly, please take note that I will no longer be responding to any @ replies on Twitter. I am far too busy and important to deign to respond to you. One caveat. If you have more than a hundred thousand followers, I will not only respond, but I will re-tweet your ass like money falls out of it. That’s how we Social Media ROCK STARS! roll.

Lastly, my tweets will now become so much more valuable than yours, y’know because of my whole Social Media ROCK STAR! status.  Therefore, I shall be tacking on a ‘please RT’ to each and every motherfucking tweet. That’s right. You need to re-tweet that shit. Because I’m a fucking Social Media ROCK STAR! dammit, and what I say matters.

That aught to do it, I think. I don’t believe I’ve missed anything.

Oh, and for you people out there that will unfollow me because I have declared myself to be a Social Media ROCK STAR!?

Let me just say that I don’t blame you in the least.

I’d fucking unfollow me, too.

/rant.

Tweet courtesy of @iamkhayyam. I just #ranwithit

Someone tweeted out my Klout score the other day.

I only noticed because it showed up in my mentions. I looked at the tweet and thought two things. The first thing was, “I don’t care.” The second thing was, “Neither should anybody else.”

There are a ton of ways that people measure their “Social Value” on the internet. Klout is just one – albeit one of the most widely used and recognized. And that’s just fine and dandy.

I mean, not for me.
But if it’s your thing, go for it.

I don’t know what my Klout score says about me. I don’t plan to ever know. I don’t use Klout, and I will never use Klout. I’m sure that for some people or businesses, that score is of some importance. Maybe. It’s just that I couldn’t really care less what some algorithm says about who it thinks I am.

And I certainly don’t give a teeny little rat’s ass as to what a faceless equation says about how good I am at the internet. Or at life.

I never did like math.

To me, there is a real danger in measuring your success as a person based on what some overly complex system of measurement says about you. Looking at that score can lead you to believe that (A) you’re not good enough and make you feel bad about yourself, or (B) make you think that you are the best person on the net and thus, turn you into a (C) raging asshole douchebag.

All Klout does is measure what is possible.
It doesn’t measure what you do.
Or if what you do is positive.

I have a much less complex way of measuring Social Value.

Every once in a while I am completely floored and humbled by someone out there in the wilds of my social media landscape. An email telling me that one of my blog posts helped get someone through a tough time. A comment telling me that I have inspired someone.  A tweet thanking me for making someone smile. A retweet by someone I admire – someone who’s “value” to me is incalculable.

I am also very fortunate to have a number of people in my online life that make me feel like doing those things for them, too.

That’s value.

Those things equal more than a number.
And they mean so much more to me than anything that comes after (x+y=me).

I don’t care if you have one hundred or one hundred thousand followers or friends. It’s not the number that matters, it’s the message you’re sending out to them. Numbers can be compiled by a machine, messages can only compiled by humans. I try to make sure that mine is good.

Snarky and sarcastic at times, sure.
But I gotta be me.

If you’re a Klout fan, so be it.  I won’t be seeing you there.  But I fully support your freedom to use it as you see fit.  Maybe you could try one thing, though… Next time you check your Klout score, at least remember this:

No matter what the score, a number is not reflective of what is real, only of what is possible.

Let's measure smiles, not scores.